Hello. My mom has been very, very busy lately, so she asked me to fill in for her here. Well, actually, she didn't ask. I saw the laptop open and seized the moment. She says I can't type because I don't have opposable thumbs, so we'll see who's right about that one...
Let me introduce myself. My name is Lola Madeleine Brucia. I live with my mom and dad and our three dogs. Don't even get me started on those dogs. I have a really awesome big sister and big brother, but I am the tiniest Brucia of them all. My brother and sister are so cool because they rub my belly, give me treats, and let me lick their faces in a way that some (not me) would describe as excessive. They have really neat bedrooms, but I'm not allowed in them when my brother and sister aren't here. My mom thinks I'm going to go pee on their floors, but that's only happened a few times and I only did it to keep those other animals out of our pack's territory, so I don't really know what her deal is.
Our pack is pretty cool. Not like that pack in the backyard - they smell like dogs. We get up and have breakfast together each morning. Actually, I eat breakfast about ten times a day. The alpha (mom) leaves my food out so I have an endless all-you-can-eat buffet of Iams. Yuuuumm-eeee! The other alpha (dad) takes me outside a lot, but never leaves me out like some sort of animal. He also give me lots of treats.
I know what treats are and where they're kept, and love them so much. The alpha's tried to get crafty and spell the word "treat" out in front of me so I wouldn't know what they were talking about, but I learned to spell. That's right. T-R-E-A-T. Actually, all they have to say is "T" now, and it's on. You might think that "treat" would be my favorite word, but it's actually "wanna". You see, "wanna" can be used in so many ways, but it's usually followed by something wonderful, so when I hear it, I know it's going to be a good day. "You wanna treat?" "You wanna go outside?" "You wanna go for a walk?" "You wanna play fetch?" See what I mean. Good times, that "wanna".
My mom and dad give me baths a lot so I don't smell like a dog. Not that something like that would ever happen anyway, but whatever... I usually try to bust the doors open when members of my pack are taking their baths, you know, to see what's going on, and if they might need help. They don't really like this, but I can't quite figure this one out. They watch me get baths and "oh" and "ah" about how cute I am when I'm wet. They watch me go potty outside and tell me I'm a good girl. I figured I'd reciprocate, you know, tell them how good at going potty they are, but maybe that's not how it works. Maybe I should Google "do tiny pack members need to help alphas take baths?" while I'm here.
*ears erect, eyes focused on ceiling, heading tilting to extreme right*
Uh oh, I hear my mom coming down the stairs, so I better go bark out the window at the neighbors in their front yard to pretend I've been standing guard this whole time. To be continued...
L.M.B.