Abby.

I have a really great, long-time friend (not old friend, because we aren't old), who has been going through some rough times lately. She recently wrote a blog about 5 little words spoken to her by her dad. It's part of your journey, he told her when she spoke of her anger, sadness, and frustration. She said it was like 5 nails in a coffin.

Abby, my friend, don't think of these words, events, and frustrations as nails in your coffin. Yes, they are part of your journey, but more than anything, they are 5 strings that have been cut, snapped, and let loose, freeing you for that journey. You're now off where you were always headed, taking a turn down a road you never saw, but that was part of the plan, even if it wasn't your plan.

I've struggled with what to say to you, other than I'm here for you, which hopefully you already knew. We all get handed the short end of the stick at some point in life, but there's no point in comparing experiences because nobody gets the same stick. Even with some of the things I have dealt with in life, I firmly believe there is a reason why each and every thing happens. You can't always see it in the moment. You can't always see it ten years down the line, but it's there. Looking back on this years from now, you will probably remember life before the accident and after. There will be a huge differentiation; it will be like a mark on your very soul. It's going to change you, for the better. How do I know this? Mostly because you're a badass. You're caring, contemplative, thoughtful. You will take in each and every fractured fragment of this experience and carry it with you for the rest of your life. You are not the kind of person who will become bitter. You'll have hard days where you'll cry and wonder why, what if, and what could have been. We all do. But then you'll realize how amazing everything turned out anyway, and be glad that you were lead down this rocky, bumpy, pot-hole filled road. Life is never going to turn out the way we plan it. That's what makes things interesting. It's not always sunshine and laughter, but sometimes we have to weather the storm to really appreciate the beautiful days.

I love you.

Little Boxes

We moved a number of times growing up, and going along with my parents to look at new houses was always the most exciting part for me. Inevitably, we'd end up driving through one of those track-home neighborhoods where every other house looks the same.

"Little boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same," my dad would sing in a high-pitched, almost staccato voice. He refused to live in one of those little boxes that was just like everyone else's. He sang it every time we looked at houses. He sang it when Harry and I were house hunting. He sang it most recently when I went with him to look for his new house a few months ago.

It wasn't until I started watching the TV show, Weeds, a few years ago that I realized that Little Boxes was a real song that my dad didn't make up.

It's funny how crazy I thought he was singing that song all those years ago, but at the same time thinking he was genius for coming up with it. I guess there's a part of us all that believes our parents are masterful beings, while still figuring they might be a little off their rockers.

The other day I told my dad about my belief that he created Little Boxes. He, of course, thought it was hilarious, but also had a look on his face of pride. Perhaps it was pride that his brand of crazy rubbed off on me.

He, in turn, told me that my sister confessed to him that she started yelling threats at her kids reminiscent of him and my mom. "I don't care who started it! I'm gonna finish it!" she apparently told them, along with my dad's favorite quote, "If you don't have time to do it right, how will you ever have time to do it over?" He liked that one so much, he had it framed and hung on his office wall.

It's a pretty common thing for people to say they don't want to turn into their parents. Even if mine might be or have been a little nutty, I smile when I start to do something like they did, or mutter one of their little sayings.

I, too, sing Little Boxes when I drive through one of those look-alike neighborhoods. I guess I'm working on turning into my dad. My parents aren't perfect human beings, but they are pretty awesome people. I'm cool with being a little box. After all, we are Smiths and we all look just the same.

This is the Story of a Girl...give or take 10 years.

Tomorrow marks ten years since I graduated high school alongside my fellow Tigers. Next week, my stepdaughter will walk across the stage at her own high school graduation. Somehow, the past ten years have flown by. So much has happened over the years, although it doesn't seem that long.

I still basically feel the same as I did when I was 18, albeit, my eyesight is slightly worse (but I've worn glasses nearly 20 years now, anyway), and my joints ache a bit in the mornings. I'm still the same height (shockingly enough, I never got that growth spurt), still like the same types of movies and music, and only just in the last few months stopped driving a Saturn. Hell, there's even a new Fast and the Furious sequel out this weekend and Nelly just did a duet with a Country act. Um, wait...did I actually travel back to 2003?

Kristen, Megan, Alyssa, me, Erin F., and Bethany
At our senior Homecoming Bonfire.

Alas, even if I do not feel different, I am sure that I am. If anything, life is different. Instead of working at the Candy Basket so I could buy clothes and CDs, money now goes towards mortgages, car payments, and groceries; which is okay by me. Life is good, and while never perfect and it quite honestly feels like a hot mess a lot of days, I couldn't ask for more than I have been lucky enough to be blessed with these past ten years...

Erin F., me, Andi, Kristen, Kaylin, and Abby on my and Andi's 18th birthday
Back in the days before everyone had digital cameras, when you never knew people looked crazy until you developed...

...including my friends. I'm so very thankful that several of the people who were with me on that warm May afternoon a decade ago, are still around in my life. I'm also thankful that I've been blessed enough to add some incredible new people into the mix along the way, too. Here's to my old classmates, far but not forgotten, and all of 2013's graduates who are going out into the real world - Welcome to the Jungle!

Raven, Kaylin, Erin F., and me at graduation

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, mommies-to-be, step moms, godmothers, aunts, older sisters,

friends'-moms-who-are-practically-your-mom, etc.

As always, I'm missing my mom today, so I thought I'd lighten the mood and share this fun photo. This is my mom, dad, and my sister, Alison, dressed up for an old-fashioned photo when my mom was pregnant with me:

Quite a good lookin' bunch, if you ask me.

Sending love this Mother's Day, to the heavens and back.

saying my piece on peace...

I fully believe that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. I believe that opinion is entitled regardless of whether it is deemed to be "too religious" or, on the contrast, "too ungodly".

I don't believe that one should be bullied for his or her opinions, no matter how different they are from yours. I do not believe it is right to bully a bully into believing what you believe.

Most people are too quick to judge. You have no right to judge someone because they do not agree with you, regardless of "what side of history" they are on. Have a productive, persuasive conversation with them so they might understand your side. Don't be a bulldozer, and say you're doing it in the name of a just cause.

All Democrats are not extremist Liberals, and all Republicans are not religious zealots. Stop pigeonholing the masses.

You will never win people over by belittling another human being, regardless of how ridiculous you think said human being is behaving.

The Good Things in Life

Earlier while I was at work, a woman named Angela came in and told me she was looking for an outfit to wear tonight when she went out with her friends. I asked where she was going and she said her and her girlfriends from high school had rented a limo and were going out to a nice dinner and then dancing at a club. We picked out some jeans and some fun tops and she got started trying on.

She modeled her outfits for her two young daughters and me. We debated what shoes to wear and whether she should wear a necklace. I told her she was going to look so cute and have such a good time with her friends.

"Yeah. I wish we were going out for a happy occasion, but hopefully we will have fun," Angela remarked as she got ready to change back into her clothes.

"Oh really? What's going on? What's the occasion?" I half expected her to tell me it was a divorce party (we get a lot of women coming out to celebrate that, or get their minds' off of it, one or the other).

"One of my friends just finished her 4th round of chemo, and there's been no improvement, so we're taking her out to have fun and prove to ourselves that there are still good things in life," she said.

I felt my eyes start to well up, but managed to hold back tears. Incidentally that would have been at least the 4th time I've cried at work in the last two weeks, so thankfully I managed to hold back. I expressed my condolences, but assured her of what a good friend she was and that I was sure they would all have so much fun spending time with each other.

At the register, Angela mentioned that it had been 12 years since high school and since all 14 of the girls had been together (which would only make her 30-ish), and that she couldn't wait to see everyone and have fun. She talked about where they were having dinner, and the tables and bottles they had reserved at the clubs. The excitement was clearly and understandably mixed with other emotions.

On one hand, I am so sad that it took something so tragic and truly life-altering to get Angela and her friends back together after all this time. On the other, I couldn't be happier that they are going to go out and live it up, at least one more time, to create some amazing lasting memories. When I think about how quickly life can change, and at any age, it really makes me appreciate the people I have in my life.

Realize that you are blessed. Appreciate who and what you have around you. Let those who matter to you know that they do. Understand that no one is perfect but life is too short. Know that there are still good things in life. Raise a glass to Angela and her friends. Here's to you.

what a day.

I am like a fish...
I'm gonna float a-way-ay.
I don't know where my road is,
I don't know where the yard is.